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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 01 Feb 2014, 20:35 
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See, I thought those were apostrophes, not graves. I was confused.



ὁ ἀκτεανος ξενος εἰμι, ἐρρων δια τον οἰζυρον κοσμον,
ἐτι οὐδεν νοσου μογου κινδυνου ἐστιν ἐν ἀγλαῃ γῃ οἱ βαινω
δευρο εἰμι ὀψομενος πατερα, δευρο εἰμι μηκετι ἀλωμαι,
ἁπαξ βαινω ὑπερ ἰορδανην, ἁπαξ βαινω ὑπερ οἰκον


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 01 Feb 2014, 20:52 
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SOMEONE MAKE A "GREAT JOKES" THREAD AND ADD ME TO THEM OMFG
MYKE
those were flawless fricken jokes especially the grave ones you frickin assbutt


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 01 Feb 2014, 22:36 
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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 05 Feb 2014, 05:08 
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I was going to use your 'constable' one and then I remembered where I had heard it and I knew what I had to do



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 15 Feb 2014, 05:20 
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Heard this on the radio this morning. A listener mailed the radio station, saying:

"Yesterday I gave my wife some wholemeal, some mixed grain, some self-raising, some rye and some plain.
'What's this?' she asked.
'It's Valentine's Day so I brought you some flours.'"



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 15 Feb 2014, 10:49 
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...That sounds like something my dad would do.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 15 Feb 2014, 22:09 
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Quote:
Albert Clare: Want a Zorua now?
Gwennie Moogle: Not right now
Gwennie Moogle: Eating dinner
Albert Clare: Oh.
Albert Clare: What are you eating?
Gwennie Moogle: Roast beef, potatoes and carrots
Albert Clare: *eats it*
Albert Clare: Mmmmmmmmmm...
Gwennie Moogle: Hey
Gwennie Moogle: Just encourage my twigginess
Albert Clare: Are you REALLY going to get any bigger if you eat Things?
Gwennie Moogle: Weeell
Albert Clare: *feeds you Melons*
Gwennie Moogle: That doesn't make my loss of beef and vegetables any better
Albert Clare: It makes it funnier.
Albert Clare: Albert Clare: You with Beef would be rather strange.



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2014, 17:28 
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courtesy of takei's twitter feed



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 30 Mar 2014, 16:28 
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Quote:
16:10 - STEVE!: XD
16:10 - STEVE!: You're a cruel, cruel man
16:11 - FMZeth: Man you should have seen the exchange Venni and I had while I was chatting to him while drawing the wraith
16:11 - FMZeth: we went for 9 minutes just returning body-parts puns at each other back and forth
16:11 - STEVE!: XDDD;;
16:12 - FMZeth: We both knew we had to keep a Head of each other
16:12 - FMZeth: I came out by a Nose
16:12 - FMZeth: but to his credit, he kept abreast pretty well
16:13 - STEVE!: I can see this must have kept venni on his toes
16:13 - FMZeth: Yeah. I ribbed him pretty bad about it
16:13 - STEVE!: So this is what all the hip young dudes a doing these days?
16:14 - STEVE!: *are
16:14 - FMZeth: I doubt it. We just have a mind for it.
16:14 - STEVE!: Must have been a joint effort
16:15 - FMZeth: Pretty much. I like to keep a thumb on the pulse of the competition.
16:15 - STEVE!: I'd say that you pretty much nailed it
16:16 - FMZeth: Maybe. But there was something about his puns I couldn't quite put my finger on.
16:16 - STEVE!: Was it their humorous nature?
16:16 - FMZeth: No--I just think that internal anatomy is his achilles' heel.
16:17 - STEVE!: Ah, well, I suppose that a bit of tongue-in-cheek can only help to get you a leg up
16:18 - FMZeth: True. And I'm cool with it so long as he doesn't try to butt-in on my territory.
16:18 - FMZeth: Granted he already has his foot in the door.
16:18 - STEVE!: Yeah, that'd be a bit of a dick move.
16:18 - FMZeth: A dick move? It'd make him a straight up ass.
16:19 - STEVE!: sounds like you came away by the skin of your teeth though, at the very least?
16:20 - FMZeth: Nah, I was clearly ahead of the game.
16:20 - FMZeth: I'll keep an eye on him.
16:22 - FMZeth: I think it's about time you admit dfeet.
16:22 - STEVE!: Nah, I just need to apply some elbow grease
16:22 - STEVE!: palm in on some older material
16:22 - FMZeth: Son you're about up to your ears in trouble.
16:22 - STEVE!: knuckle up a fresh batch
16:22 - STEVE!: s'fine, I'm used to a lashing
16:23 - FMZeth: I dunno, I can be a real pain in the neck
16:23 - STEVE!: I'll remember to show some spine then, keep a stiff upper lip
16:24 - FMZeth: you have anything to back that up?
16:24 - STEVE!: I'll shoulder through, don't need any evidence for that
16:25 - FMZeth: Eh, well if you're that tough maybe you deserve for me to let up on you just a hair.
16:25 - STEVE!: Well don't feel like you have to hold up on me dude, I can take it on the chin
16:25 - STEVE!: No sweat off my brow
16:26 - FMZeth: No glass jaw?
16:26 - STEVE!: Curses, I think you win this.. my body wasn't ready.
16:27 - FMZeth: Mm, or maybe you just had some butterflies in the stomach.
16:27 - FMZeth: : D
16:27 - FMZeth: Man I wish I had saved that exchanged between Venni and I now
16:27 - STEVE!: XD Damn man, you've had too much practice at this, I swear
16:27 - FMZeth: hehehe
16:27 - FMZeth: This is getting posted.



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 01 Apr 2014, 19:14 
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Dino: what browser are you using?
Albert Clare: *Holds up a Vulpix*



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 29 Jul 2014, 20:23 
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Albert Clare: *Deposits you into a fog bank, which is instantly cleared*
Albert Clare: You're better than the HM Defog — wherever you go, there is Less Haze.
Dinowoman: *groan*



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 03 Aug 2014, 21:07 
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incredible

thread's over everyone go home



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 18 Sep 2014, 10:19 
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Albert Clare: Bad joke: What enabled the skin irritation to conquer its fears?
Albert Clare: It realised they were irRASHional.
Dino: *grooooaaaaannnnnnn!*



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 18 Sep 2014, 23:11 
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Recently, a friend told me this one:

"What do you call it with Batman skips church?"
Christian Bale.



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 19 Sep 2014, 12:02 
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Hehehehehehe.

How did the skin irritation conquer its fears?
It realised thy were irrashional.



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 19 Sep 2014, 19:50 
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Was that an encore or?



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 19 Sep 2014, 20:52 
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I'm simply full of bad jokes. This is the encore to that one:

Dino: *grooooaaaaannnnnnn!*
Dino: XD
Albert Clare: *Bottles the groan*
Dino: what do you do with these groans?
Albert Clare: Use them so that I don't have to wait for my flowers to be fully groan on their own.
Dino: oh dear! they get worse! :P
Albert Clare: *Deposits fully-groan flours onto your tongue!*



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 05 Oct 2014, 14:04 
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Albert Clare: So, what are you doingsaurus?
Dino: guess XD
Albert Clare: EVIL!
Dino: no it isn't!!! :(:(:(
Albert Clare: IS SO!
Dino: is not!!
Albert Clare: IS SO IS SO IS SO!
Dino: is not! :(:(:(:(
Albert Clare: IS SEEEEEEEEEW!
Dino: now i don't know whether to cry or groan...
Albert Clare: You could crone, but you aren't THAT old.
Dino: so being about 160 million years old isn't enough to be a crone? how old ARE thoise women? :P
Albert Clare: Hahahahahahahahaha.



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 05 Jan 2015, 16:29 
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Albert Clare: *Uses your nose to cast HP-stealing magic.*
Albert Clare: It's NOSEferatu.
Dino: *groan* :P



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 21 Jan 2015, 23:39 
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Albert Clare: Bad Joke: Why were the constellations not drawn very well? The artist was STARving.
The Morplox: ugh
Albert Clare: And what's a cactus's favourite dance? The poke-a!
The Morplox: *head shake*

Albert Clare: What do you use to brew Tales Tea?
Albert Clare: A Teepot.
The Morplox: I don't get it unless it's somehow connected to Teepo
Albert Clare: Yes........................
The Morplox: Ah okay



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 27 Jan 2015, 23:02 
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Albert Clare: I rather wish I were sharing my notebook scrawlings with somebody.
Albert Clare: I think this is actually a good draught.
Albert Clare: (Now I've Jynx'd, Smoochum'd, and Mr. Mime'd it.)
SiverCat: Pfff



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 30 Jan 2015, 22:56 
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Albert Clare: So, what are you up to?
SiverCat: Recettear
Albert Clare: Oh, right, I can actually see that now.
Albert Clare: How's it treating you?
SiverCat: I'm kind of sucking but otherwise fine
Albert Clare: Heheh.
Albert Clare: *Uses you to vacuum*
Albert Clare: While you're sucking and all.
SiverCat: Pff



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 21 Mar 2015, 14:26 
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02:23 PM - Albert Clare: A book by a pretentious wannabe poet asked three popular novels, 'What made you so successful?' The three answered, 'You're only a wannabe, we're prose.'
02:25 PM - SiverCat: ugh



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 15 Mar 2016, 12:05 
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12:04 - dinowoman: sounds the easiest solution
12:04 - Albert Clare: /dissolves it
12:04 - Albert Clare: Yes, it did make for an easy solution



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 Post subject: Re: Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: 24 Mar 2016, 20:21 
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Horrible multilingual puns:

AlphaXXI: next month's corocoro will have news, apparently
AlphaXXI: they clearly announced that
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: Je mer.
AlphaXXI: not sure if we'll get a direct before that though.
AlphaXXI: what ?
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: I sea.
AlphaXXI: oh, you mean "mare"
AlphaXXI: or "mer"
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: I typed "mer".
AlphaXXI: I see the little pen but not the edited word
AlphaXXI: I still see "mar"
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: Huh, weirdness.
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: (I did accidentally type the Spanish word first.)
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: (Which is "mar".)
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: And I thought "mare" meant "puddle".
AlphaXXI: more like "pond"
AlphaXXI: and it doesn't seem unlike you to use another body of water just to mess with my head
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: You know you lake it.
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: Even though you sometimes lac a sense of humour.
AlphaXXI: flaque you.
AlphaXXI: (couldn't think of anything else)
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: You can dew better than that.
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: I think it's time you rosée to the occasion.
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: Before I rain over all with water puns.
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: And it's all eauver for you.
Ryuunosuke Akiyama: Or should I say, pour you.



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