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PostPosted: 27 Mar 2015, 23:40 
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Are you sure they would be meteors and not lunar diarrhoea?



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PostPosted: 15 Apr 2015, 10:58 
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Are you accusing me of ventriloquism?



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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2015, 02:29 
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(A woman from my church was wishing for that ability last night. Apparently she has a rather deaf neighbour who goes out into her garden and talks very loudly to her rabbit. She would love one day to be able to make the rabbit answer back. :P)



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PostPosted: 21 Apr 2015, 17:42 
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"I know a head has legs."



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PostPosted: 22 Apr 2015, 11:15 
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I'm so excited I became a valley girl for a few seconds.



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PostPosted: 07 Jun 2015, 17:26 
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"I can't get my glasses because there's a Spinosaurus sitting on my bag."

And a bit later...

"I burnt myself on the iron while I was trying to catch the rose."



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PostPosted: 08 Jun 2015, 13:10 
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"You're a Loogie-a!"



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PostPosted: 30 Jul 2015, 16:13 
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So I had to think long and hard about whether or not to put this in IM conversations or here, but, I think, really, it belongs here. I know I certainly never anticipated saying half these things.

Spoiler: show
15:55 - FMZeth: that first image
15:55 - FMZeth: I like
15:55 - FMZeth: can't get over the fact that she basically has no face.
15:56 - FMZeth: like, huge eyes and then blank face with some eraser smudges where the nose and mouth should be
15:56 - Jaff: Ikr god
15:56 - Jaff: thank you animo
15:56 - FMZeth: Are you particularly attached to that image?
15:56 - Jaff: I just found it on google search :D
15:57 - FMZeth: Okay good because I have to say it severely depresses me.
15:57 - Jaff: HAHAH AIkr but it was a good example
15:57 - Jaff: of the wrinkles
15:57 - FMZeth: true enough
15:57 - FMZeth: "Here's my idea of a really smokin hot babe: a boob support mechanism in leather who can't speak and might be catatonic, actually."
15:58 - Jaff: HELL YEAH
15:58 - FMZeth: Pfeh, some people just really upset me.
15:58 - FMZeth: Some people should just be made to live out their fantasies and see how much they like it. Somehow.
15:58 - Jaff: with broken legs and how is that underwear actually showing
15:59 - FMZeth: like, from the opposite perspective, I mean.
15:58 - Jaff: oh man ikr XD
15:59 - FMZeth: mm
15:59 - FMZeth: now that you mention it
15:59 - FMZeth: how ARE those underwear showing
15:59 - FMZeth: oh god, how is her tighgap actually that huge
15:59 - FMZeth: *thigh
15:59 - Jaff: ikr
15:59 - FMZeth: oh
15:59 - FMZeth: ugh
15:59 - FMZeth: that must be like
15:59 - FMZeth: physically debilitating
15:59 - Jaff: and like if you think about it her crotch would have to be WAY far forward
15:59 - Jaff: or back
15:59 - Jaff: or
15:59 - Jaff: I can't even
16:02 - FMZeth: If I'm picturing her skeletal structure correctly, the only way this woman coudl actually exist, I think, is if her ilium and Sacroliac Joint on either side was broken and a black market surgeon had forced her to sit in a folding sling for it to heal with the symphysis shifted to almost touching her ribs
16:02 - FMZeth: god somebody just shoot this poor girl
16:02 - Jaff: HAHAAAAA XDDD IKR
16:04 - FMZeth: You know that means there's like a gaping sunken hole at the bottom of her spine in the back and she's probably paralysed.
16:04 - FMZeth: I just sort of want to punch this artist now
16:04 - Jaff: but
16:04 - Jaff: they just redefined the o.o face
16:05 - FMZeth: Hm?
16:05 - Jaff: cause the giant eyes and the tiny dot for nose/mouth
16:05 - FMZeth: Mm, good point
16:05 - FMZeth: she might actually be a lemur...
16:06 - FMZeth: or actually, a Tarsir
16:06 - FMZeth: holly
16:06 - FMZeth: http://artsonearth.com/www/images/arts_ ... girls2.jpg
16:06 - FMZeth: look at that face
16:07 - FMZeth: get it in your mind
16:07 - FMZeth: now this: http://img1.mxstatic.com/wallpapers/01b ... large.jpeg
16:07 - FMZeth: Congratulations artist dude: your ideal woman is a shaved, pregnant albino tarsir.

TL;DR: Congratulations artist dude: your ideal woman is a shaved, pregnant albino tarsir.



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PostPosted: 31 Jul 2015, 22:05 
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Why is there jelly on the hotdog chilli?

(Perhaps not that weird, since I work in a supermarket, but...)



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PostPosted: 03 Aug 2015, 20:34 
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Dino

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It looks like the Klingon greengrocer's is going to be an electrical shop.



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PostPosted: 04 Aug 2015, 20:45 
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It is pitch black. You are likely to have your face erased by a siren.



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PostPosted: 23 Sep 2015, 10:49 
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I don't store deceit in my nose.



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PostPosted: 01 Oct 2015, 21:40 
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...The phantom of the interweb emergeth... TO EAT CHICKEN!!!


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PostPosted: 29 Oct 2015, 19:58 
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Like the mayonnaise equivalent of one of the recent Moffat episodes of Dr. Who.



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PostPosted: 12 Nov 2015, 04:47 
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Albert Clare wrote:
Like the mayonnaise equivalent of one of the recent Moffat episodes of Dr. Who.


I kind of want to know details on that one..

and for myself:

GOD CANT SEE ME UNDERNEATH MUH SHEETZ!


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PostPosted: 12 Nov 2015, 13:12 
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Avittion wrote:
Albert Clare wrote:
Like the mayonnaise equivalent of one of the recent Moffat episodes of Dr. Who.


I kind of want to know details on that one..


I don't have the conversation itself archived, because it was in Steam, but it was essentially that Dino hates salad cream (a mayonnaise-like condiment), and also isn't that keen on the new episodes of Dr. Who, when compared with the old ones.



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PostPosted: 12 Nov 2015, 13:23 
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Albert Clare wrote:
Avittion wrote:
Albert Clare wrote:
Like the mayonnaise equivalent of one of the recent Moffat episodes of Dr. Who.


I kind of want to know details on that one..


I don't have the conversation itself archived, because it was in Steam, but it was essentially that Dino hates salad cream (a mayonnaise-like condiment), and also isn't that keen on the new episodes of Dr. Who, when compared with the old ones.


That was 100% pure win!




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PostPosted: 12 Nov 2015, 15:03 
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Happy to have amused.



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PostPosted: 20 Nov 2015, 09:24 
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*phone rings at work*

Me: *picks up phone* "Acapulco Beach House!"



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PostPosted: 21 Nov 2015, 06:29 
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Giving hints to my Japanese study partner on how to write one of the elements of the kanji for 'burglar':

Me: What might be of interest to a burglar?
Nick: Gold?
Me: No, not gold.
Nick: Shells?
Me: Yes!



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PostPosted: 21 Nov 2015, 23:42 
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"Tiny oranges are addictive."

"Oh, you're one of those!"

"Layaway gremlins."



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PostPosted: 25 Dec 2015, 16:53 
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"Oh. That's why their legs don't work, they're children."



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PostPosted: 25 Dec 2015, 19:54 
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I understood that you didn't mean his plumbing fixture was infected.



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PostPosted: 26 Dec 2015, 23:42 
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I am my own office comedy.



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PostPosted: 27 Dec 2015, 13:18 
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"Well I don't mind having a lie-in if it helps fix the car."



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